Equanimous is It
So what would make a workaholic like me pick up her backpack to disappear from the world for 10 days? I don't know but I'm glad I did!
It was a 10-day Vipassana course in Igatpuri, Maharashtra - about 2 and a half hours away from Bombay. I went with absolutely no idea of what I was getting into - I hadn't even read the Code of Discipline properly (yes there's a code of discipline). But on a certain level I was just so glad to get away from the rat race that at the time I would've gladly gone anywhere with any rules & regulations!!
Getting to Igatpuri and registering there was easy; keeping silent for 10 days with a bunch of strangers was easy; going to bed at 9.30pm and getting up at 4.20am was manageable; eating wholesome vegetarian food was the easiest; it was the meditating that almost killed me! And that was because of my mind!
My mind - my hopelessly wandering; meandering; jumping-off-the-wall; procrastinating; drunken; full of rubbishy thoughts; full of grand ideas; full of regret; at times full of low self-esteem; at times full of pride; romantic; practical; obvious; subtle; conniving; simple; at times living in the past; at times living in the future; revengeful; forgiving; sad; delirious mind - that kept me occupied for 10 days! It almost did me in!
Externally I was a picture of perfect calm sitting in the lotus position concentrating on my breath in that large room - but inside - it was chaos! I had to literally drag my mind to pull back my mind from the craziest thoughts that ever existed! Till I finally learnt that if I'm aware of my mind wandering then it comes back to the job at hand immediately. I'd known this earlier too - theoretically - it was the practical side of it that mesmerized me for the 10 days. BTW - the 10 days felt like a decade in the beginning - till I reached Day 6 - after Day 6 I was pretty much sailing .
So I went to learn a technique of meditation that was worked on by Gautam Buddha. Called Dhamma - the technique was brought back to India by S.N.Goenka. (www.dhamma.org)
I learnt a lot - watching myself - my cravings and my aversions - with equanimity. Will it end my suffering? I doubt it because I think mankind will suffer no matter what happens - but I'm aware of myself - and that's what's important - I'm my own mistress - and I can handle my pain and my happiness on my own. Tall claim - but that's what life's all about - search for happiness:-)
It was a 10-day Vipassana course in Igatpuri, Maharashtra - about 2 and a half hours away from Bombay. I went with absolutely no idea of what I was getting into - I hadn't even read the Code of Discipline properly (yes there's a code of discipline). But on a certain level I was just so glad to get away from the rat race that at the time I would've gladly gone anywhere with any rules & regulations!!
Getting to Igatpuri and registering there was easy; keeping silent for 10 days with a bunch of strangers was easy; going to bed at 9.30pm and getting up at 4.20am was manageable; eating wholesome vegetarian food was the easiest; it was the meditating that almost killed me! And that was because of my mind!
My mind - my hopelessly wandering; meandering; jumping-off-the-wall; procrastinating; drunken; full of rubbishy thoughts; full of grand ideas; full of regret; at times full of low self-esteem; at times full of pride; romantic; practical; obvious; subtle; conniving; simple; at times living in the past; at times living in the future; revengeful; forgiving; sad; delirious mind - that kept me occupied for 10 days! It almost did me in!
Externally I was a picture of perfect calm sitting in the lotus position concentrating on my breath in that large room - but inside - it was chaos! I had to literally drag my mind to pull back my mind from the craziest thoughts that ever existed! Till I finally learnt that if I'm aware of my mind wandering then it comes back to the job at hand immediately. I'd known this earlier too - theoretically - it was the practical side of it that mesmerized me for the 10 days. BTW - the 10 days felt like a decade in the beginning - till I reached Day 6 - after Day 6 I was pretty much sailing .
So I went to learn a technique of meditation that was worked on by Gautam Buddha. Called Dhamma - the technique was brought back to India by S.N.Goenka. (www.dhamma.org)
I learnt a lot - watching myself - my cravings and my aversions - with equanimity. Will it end my suffering? I doubt it because I think mankind will suffer no matter what happens - but I'm aware of myself - and that's what's important - I'm my own mistress - and I can handle my pain and my happiness on my own. Tall claim - but that's what life's all about - search for happiness:-)
posted by Cranked Up at 3:18 AM
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